Society Inc.

I think I remember the very first time I woke up; it was  on a mattress in our  humble home in Al Talibya, Baghdad. It didn't take me long to instinctively walk to the kitchen knowing what every room in the house was. It didn't take that long to reach there too since it was quite a short walk due to the size of the place. The rays of light extended from whatever lay outside and through the kitchen door. I reached for the handle and gazed onto the miraculous view. On my left was what probably was once a couch and now is just a frame and a bunch of springs to sit on. Another great thing about the left side is the Tukki tree.

"Tukki" is actually the Iraqi naming for mulberry. I think that was probably the only good memory I have of my left side. That statement refers to my amblyopia or what's commonly called a "lazy eye". Afterwards, it was all me hitting my left side, whether head or shoulder, into something or someone, since I can't really see well with my left.

Pain comes in many forms, but it always acts as a cigarette; it burns. It may not leave an aesthetic footprint, but it scars us a lot of times. I think outdated societal thinking and schools of thought are a cigarette which still hasn't found its ashtray.

As a child and despite the ongoing tragedies in Iraq, having my mom hold me and my sister by the hand and walk to the small convenience store not far from our home was always the best time of the day. It was an expensive luxury at that time and those economic circumstances but my mom never once skipped it. She knew what it meant to us. No matter what, she never skipped it or our birthdays. It's funny how things work; everyone who's your age considers you lucky at that time because you ate what any Gen-z would now call "the good shit". It was quite a magnanimous thing to me, to be able to hold the chocolate bar and feel its texture get embedded into my skin and get disolved by my sticky fingers. I think my family even took a funny childhood photo of my sister having ate her first chocolate bar.

There comes a point where chocolate bars are no longer enough. How what amounts to 50 American cents is no longer enough. How we need to think about actual food, transportation, bills and so much more.

I remember my very first paycheck which I got when I was 16; what amounts almost a meager $75 dollars which I got through freelancing as a translator for newspapers. I started attempting to work to afford my teenager leisures such as hangouts and videogames so my mom always sheltered that burden and never said no to me asking for money to hangout. I always hated asking her for anything unnecessary which I abstain from until this day. I never knew such an innocent effort would lead to me becoming an accredited journalist with an actual ID at the age of 17. As I said, it's funny how things work out. I later almost saved up money for the PS4 except a $100 dollars which I got as a loan from my mom. She'd be okay with the hundred dollars being a gift from mother to son but that's unnecessary as a PS4 is a luxury. I paid it back shortly after and at the age of 17, I afforded my $550 dollars PlayStation by myself. What amounts to 1100 chocolate bars worth.

Morality can be defined as a sense of right and wrong. Consumerism is protection and promotion of consumer interests. When buying things, right and wrong gets vastly blurry. We become ok with buying slightly expensive clothes at the expense of others toiling for less than minimum wage. We become ok with others' suffering in exchange for convenience. After all, they didn't really grow up to know any other way of working, right? Why change things? Why keep practices of destroying the ecosystem, killing more animals than we need insensibly and wasting food while they've slowly shown us that it's just a matter of time until the detonator reaches zero? Because if it's easy for us, it's easy for them. Our morality is flawed by an addictive need for unnecessary things. If you see someone evicted and selling their outdated furniture from what were once more luxurious times, why not haggle the already cheap price? Why not capitalize on their need for money for frugal purposes and drive it even lower on the expense of their suffering? We're predators. It's in our innate nature.

I believe we're all in need of an embrace. I don't think my society would give me the embrace so many desperately need. That sense of belonging. Instead, my taste in clothes, tattoos, words and much more is too eccentric for them. What if I become a pilgrim and venture out to the sea? I don't think I'd like it there. Though the gentle pushes on whatever raft I'm sleeping on might act as a lullaby and sooth my worries, I don't really like the water. There's so much beauty under it, but I don't have gills, so I very much doubt I can live there.

Instead, I feel that, for many of us, the floor is our only embrace. As we continuously fall from grace in our societies' eyes, the floor becomes gentler and gentler until it's our habitat, we're burnt to the point we stop smoking and we throw the cigarette and the ashtray away. Personally, I always keep my ashtrays as they've seen so many things occur. They embody times we've had and what we've undergone.

 Humanity isn't the same anymore; it's all about conformity but the odd thing is that most of the memorable walks in life were strode by those who dared to think differently like John Lennon, Mick Jagger, Charlie Chaplin, Orson Welles and so many more. Instead, we just mimic whatever values we see and get spooned with without questioning them. We can all laugh at a good joke, cry and yell in anger towards the skies and eat and drink like anyone else. Why can we all see that? Why can't we get along? Is it already too late or was it never early to begin with? The truth is it's just a sorry go 'round. Everyone rushing in circles and apologizing to each other. We need to choose our insanity wisely. The truth is a beautiful thing. It shall set us free or at least that's what I've heard. We all want to be rockstars...

I'm working desperately during my last year in university to get a good job and "get away with it all". I'll undergo the mundane 9-5 routine, handle whatever few days I actually have to work in since outdated workplace traditions necessitate and overvalue facetime over the amount of work done. If I'm done with everything, just feed me more bullshit, so I can look busy, right? It's all about looking the part. That is, until actual work comes in. I'll docile myself to get the hell out of Dodge which is, in this case, Iraq and get accepted into a society which is just as far from Utopia as my native one but less predatory. I don't have to worry about remembering the mulberry tree being cut down anymore. I'll plant one and reap the harvest myself and I'll get a good couch for whatever modest outer space in my residence. It will have springs but they won't be rusty, it would be whole just like how I think I'll be. I don't need to worry about that soon because it's nearing 12 AM and I have a business presentation but before that, I need to switch everything electrical in the house. I'm worried about the electricity bill. I already am too worried about getting a car and rent...Wait, what was I originally worried about again? Nvm, I already have too much on my plate. I wish these mundane trivialities were accessible to all. Not to afford but to have whatever meager means to actually worry about them just like we middle class working heroes do. We had souls till we exchanged them with flames whether in the forms of drugs such as cigarettes and cocaine or anguish and ingratitude. We definitely forgot to ask for an ashtray. Well, it's time to sleep now. Wish me luck for my presentation tomorrow!

Zzzzzzzz

The end... Or is it? The night seems to come whenever I wake... It's all closing walls, ticking clocks and matchboxes. I'm really dying for a chocolate bar right now. Snicker's seems to be the obvious choice!