Pilgrimage to Life

 I remember my obsession with getting a career ever since I was 16. I always wanted a career...For some odd reason I still can't figure out, I attributed a career with success; having a job and being good at it meant that I am successful.

Looking back, I believe this is my greatest failure. While I did become very successful professionally, my personal life failed to garner any similar signs of prestige and the vital signs of life needed. I am too busy to live it or enjoy it...

I went from being a nocturnal animal prowling job boards to being a nocturnal animal who posts on those boards and thinks of what once was and what will never be during late hours of the night.

Is this what life is?

A long pilgrimage of working towards things we want? A pilgrimage towards life itself and earning the right to enjoy its trivialities? Why do we have to remain ever-shifting between two polar opposites?

The current state of life is chaotically pleasant; everyone I know shares an "omerta" of being too busy and share the same worry of losing each other to a busy life. Half of my social media interactions are two people talking about hanging out and knowing that it will take at least two weeks to a month due to the sad state of affairs.

I look at my shopping apps and they're full of things I want but don't need. I never get to buy them as I swore to only buy things I need. Capitalism shall not get the better of me... Sometimes, I slip up and buy one or two things. The guilty pleasure of failing is euphoric... Doing things we're not supposed to do is intoxicating in its own unique way. We're probably the only species that does dumb things that are counterintuitive to our own well-being and has fun doing it.

Are other people also nocturnal animals? Do they also share the same thoughts? 

Are they also pilgrims undergoing their journey towards living their lives? 

As my french teacher used to say:

C'est la vie... This is life...